Martial Arts SuperShow 2009 was a total success. Here are a few photos from the event.

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It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon and I had decided to spend my afternoon by the Santa Monica Pier. I started walking past the shops and restaurants on the pier when something near a small seafood restaurant got my attention. I noticed a big barrel, without a lid, that was full of crabs. Since it was placed right by the pier, I realized these crabs could easily jump out and fall back into the ocean. Feeling really good about my discovery and my righteousness about this whole event, I approached the restaurant owner and told him about what was going on. To my surprise, the owner of the restaurant laughed at me and told me to go back and watch the crabs more carefully. I thought to myself “Look at them carefully; what does that mean?”
I spent two hours by the pier looking at that barrel full of crabs. I noticed that every time one of the crabs tried to get to the edge of the barrel to escape, all the other ones would pull him back in.

It was amazing to watch these creatures do this over and over again. That entire afternoon, my mind was filled with all kinds of similarities to those crabs. I began to recognize this particular behavior in myself and other people around me. I realized that I have had many different kinds of crabs in my life: friend crabs, girlfriend crabs, student crabs, co-worker crabs, boss crabs, etc. I thought of all the times my so-called friends would call me and talk me out of doing something that I wanted to do (something I knew was important).

My questions to you are: Who are the crabs in your life? Who and what is holding you back from doing what you want? When you decide to work out, go on a diet, or do something worthwhile, who and what stops you?

What kind of conversations are going on in your mind? What is it that makes it important to listen now and forget later? Why do we say we are trying to do the everything right, but choose not to do the right thing? Who are the crabs that govern our lives?

In all my years training in the martial arts, I have always worked and practiced for something or some goal in the future. I remember starting my training and not wanting to be a white belt. To me the green belt was where I wanted to be. I used to look at the advanced classes and think to myself “Wow that’s cool. These guys are so good.” I recall getting prepared for my green belt exam and thinking that brown belt was the ultimate coolness. Before I wore the brown belt for the first time, I already had my eyes fixed on the red belt and after that the Black Belt. This kind of thinking has followed me for years. I find myself constantly not wanting to be here right now.
I was seven or eight years old when I got my first glimpse of martial arts. Back in Iran, martial art movies were just beginning to flourish and the whole Bruce Lee era had just started. On his days off, my older brother would take me to early shows in downtown Tehran’s movie theaters. I used to come home and do (more like pretend) karate for hours. I used to imagine myself kicking and punching. I even made sound effects that were pretty real to me.

Looking back now I don’t recall doing all that for any belts or to get anyplace. I used to have fun just doing it.

I miss those times. It seemed that I was in the moment at all times. Somehow, somewhere. I have learned to set goals. To strive for more. To go further and want to do more. I learned how to beat someone else at competitions. Even further, I learned to play the tournament game. I learned to copy. I learned to lie. I learned to tweak the truth. I learned to judge others. I learned the politics… I learned it is more important who you know and how well liked you are than being how good you are.

Imagine this: you are about to go across a jungle to find what ever it is that you are after in the other side of the jungle. You start walking through this jungle. You get to a river. It is impossible to swim across. You decide to build a boat. It takes you 3-4 years to build the boat. (3-4 years of training towards your Black Belt).

You work hard building the boat. You get the strongest wood to support the weight of the boat. You are busy everyday working to build this boat. (Because success means working hard to you).

You finish building the boat. You go across the river. You get there and something happens. You think to yourself that you could have made the boat faster. So you decide to go back and build another one. You do that. You get across again and think to yourself that you could have made it bigger. More fancy. You do that. On the way you notice others building boats. You decide to participate in little competitions. You learn to beat the other boats. You start taking notes on how others built their boats. You pick up techniques here and there and you keep going back and fort on the river. You might even decide to build a school teaching people how to build boats (like I did). Or even better how to beat others in this game. Train champions.

But let’s don’t forget the sole purpose of the boat and that was to get across the river. The goal is on the other side of the jungle. The river is a battle. The war is the jungle.

I’ve taught lessons to others that I didn’t do myself. I got mad at others for not following up with the lessons. I was really mad at myself.

I had failed as a person to go across the jungle by building that school by the river. The glory of winning the battle almost cost me losing the war.

I stopped everything. I stopped competing. I stopped being a hero. I stopped my public victories. No more martial art magazine articles. No more quick fixes. The price I paid was heavy. I lost one of the greatest relationships in my life. I had lost the war.

It has taken me years to recover and rebuild from the past. Actually I shouldn’t say rebuild, because I didn’t rebuild. I started from a different lot and build a new complex with new foundations. Albert Einstein said: “The significant problem we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”

What I had to do was to go back and take inventory of my belief system. I challenged everything I knew. Then I went back to the basics. I remember the day it happened clearly. It was a Sunday afternoon coming from my favorite spot in Malibu. I was driving in the Malibu Canyon. That is where I saw the old cassette that was in my car. The title of the cassette was Today is the first day of the rest of your life by Dr. Tom Whillhite. I listened to the cassette.

I had gotten the message…

My questions for you are:

What is across the river for you? What is your primary aim?

Where is your river?

What does your boat look like?

Are you carrying the boat on top of your head after you crossed the river?

What are you pretending not to know?

In the course of our travels through life it’s a commonly accepted fact that the things that bring us the greatest joy can often bring us the most troublesome worries as well. My son, Aria, was born about two months ago, and the great joy my wife and I experienced was matched only by the anxiety we felt when he came down with a strong fever. After a call to the doctor and a recommendation to check into the hospital and some x-rays, we found our son was stricken with a bout of pneumonia. Being only six weeks old at the time, we were terribly frightened about his prospects.

But after some time in the hospital, the doctor explained that we could take him home as long as we take a specific antibiotic to administer to him because he needed it right away. So, we rushed down to the pharmacy to pick up the prescription and be on our way, but as it turned out, they were all out of what we needed. Not one to be deterred, I decided to set out onto the next pharmacy and perhaps they would be able to fill the prescription.

As I was getting ready to leave, however, I notice behind the counter a young woman, perhaps 25 years old. I’ll never forget that her name tag said, “Sarah,” and before I had a chance to turn around and leave, she asks me, “are you Fariborz?”

Being preoccupied with my son’s health, I had no time to discern how she knew this, and at my first impulse replied, “yes.”

She then told me that when she was 10, she took karate lessons from me, 14 years ago. After our pasts had connected and my thoughts went back to my son, she asked me what I was there for. I explained the situation and she affirmed that, yes, they were out of that particular medicine, but she offered to call around to other pharmacies to see if they had it in stock.

After a round of phone calls that lasted half an hour, it turned out that every pharmacy in the valley was out of the same medicine, and in my head were echoing the doctor’s admonition, “get this medicine to the baby within a couple of hours.” Buther meticulous assumption of the task at hand translated into ease for me and my family. It seemed that Sarah had made acquiring the medicine that would save my son her own business and I was thoroughly impressed.

But through her resilience, she paged, and found our doctor and when briefed on the situation at hand, he revised the prescription and gave us a substitute.

We sometimes don’t know how effective we’re being as martial arts teachers. Perhaps the students learn well, and accomplish their goals, but we are not really aware of the full impact we’ve had on them. A black belt earned is no indication of how the student will remember his teacher.

But this was one of those moments that I realized how important it is to make sure that each student is given something, some kind of connection with their teacher that they will carry with them and remember for the rest of their lives. If I hadn’t made the impression I had on Sarah, I don’t know how I would have found the correct medicine for my ailing son in time. But through touching someone 14 years ago in their heart, I ensured that my memory would be recalled with fondness. And even though it took over a decade for that to come back around to me, it did, and it couldn’t have been in a more timely manner.

Making a student feel special, and creating a connection is how we, as teachers, create the kind of teaching environment that becomes mutually beneficial. When every student is treated as an individual, learning becomes more than a task, it becomes a symbiosis and a joy for both teacher and student to carry out. So, as each student walks into the school, remember that no other student is like he is, and he will remember that no other teacher is like you.

Somewhere in the middle of rushing between activities, places and people; somewhere in the crevices of our over-saturated work schedules there is the time we take for ourselves, the time we use to do something a little extra for ourselves; perhaps a hobby, or simply to relax and shut off our minds to reorganize our thoughts; a little R and R.

But often, in the struggle for balance, we forget just how much of what we should be doing. In one of my previous articles, I laid out the structure of a game called Running a Martial Arts School, and denoted the four levels of dedication that one can take up. These levels of dedication correspond to the balance that I’m now talking about. When you’re fully dedicated to what you’re doing, the balance of work and play is easy to find and maintain. You will do what you need to get done and still have time to play around.

But what happens if we are out of balance? What happens if we don’t take care of business before pleasure? What happens if we have too many “extra” things in our lives? This is a common problem because people often forget what it is that they are supposed to be doing, and instead focus their attention on all the extra activities. This loss of focus is what leads people astray and away from their goals and as anyone who’s been lost before knows, it’s not easy to get back on track.

I’ve known many martial arts school owners who instead of teaching a foundation curriculum of basics with which their students can build knowledge from, teach less useful, unnecessary things; perhaps a technique they have invented but which are counterintuitive to the students’ present curriculum. This confuses students and stunts their learning process. Or perhaps they will create a website for their school, but have no basic brochure. In either instance, the teacher is not taking care of basics first.

From another perspective, if I don’t take care of my marital issues to my wife’s satisfaction, then anytime I try to do something extra like buy flowers, etc., then she will see it as trite and patronizing. If I don’t do what I’m supposed to do in a marriage, then everything that would be auxiliary to my marriage becomes even more unnecessary.

For a martial arts student, the most important thing is to make sure that you are focusing on your curriculum. When you are dedicated at your utmost to the program, then you can begin taking on ancillary studies to supplement whatever your core studies are.
But always remember to build a foundation for knowledge first.

It is a little known fact that during a flight from Los Angeles to San Francisco, a plane is off course 98% of the time. But through minor corrections from the pilot, the flight arrives at its destination, on time, and with no detours. As soon as a pilot notices the plane being off-course, a small adjustment is made and by heading once again in the right direction, everyone gets where they’re going because the pilot sticks to the flight plan.

Most people don’t have a flight plan and it gets difficult to know when we’re off course sometimes. But for the most part, through inherent feelings, or our social upbringing, most of us know what we’re supposed to be doing to succeed in our lives, and that’s our flight plan. Everything else is a distraction.

It was 4:30 p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon. I was teaching my class when the parent of one of my students ran into the school, yelling, “Mr. Fariborz, Mr. Fariborz”. I responded quickly to her call and asked her what was wrong.

“There is a car accident outside and two of your kids are in the car,” she said.

I immediately ran outside looking for the accident. A car had smashed into the car that my students were in and the two kids were still inside. The mother of one of the children, who also happened to be the driver, pulled one of the kids out while I managed to pull the other one out. Little Thomas was covered in blood and very frightened. The other kid, Brian, was crying and looked really scared. I started to clean Thomas’s face, as I talked to both children to calm them. Brian was extremely brave and pulled himself quickly together after realizing he was OK. I accompanied Thomas to the hospital, since his parents were not there. All the way to the hospital, I remember Thomas asking about Brian and what had happened. He had a great attitude the whole time. Once we got to the hospital, the doctor cleaned Thomas’s face and prepared to stitch his wound. I remember holding Thomas’s hand, watching him grimace in pain. We started talking about the Student Creed and Principles of Black Belt, and it was amazing to see how well he remembered both of them. It was then, for the first time that I felt like a father. Suddenly, the Student Creed and POBB meant so much more than mere words. By the

time we were done, the doctor had finished the 12 stitches on Thomas’s face.

It only takes one experience like this to get you thinking deeply about your own life. Suddenly, the things that occupy your mind every day seem a little trivial compared to the bigger questions, the deeper issues, the fundamental essence of who and what you are and why you’re here. It’s not always a car accident that opens the door to an expanding experience. I’ve had the same feelings while climbing the face of a wall in Malibu, or hearing the news that the woman I loved the most is to be married. I’ve had them looking up at the sky, filled with thousands of stars, one cold night, while listening to the music of Cusco. I’ve had them watching my Black Belt candidates walk through a candle-lit pathway to receive their Black Belts in an auditorium filled with people, as I told myself, ” They will never forget this.”

It is during those times of deep searching, of expanded perspective, that we begin to establish what Roger Merill calls “VIP CONNECTION.” “VIP” stands for the principles involved – VISION, IDENTITY and PURPOSE. He also calls it “VIP” because he believes that you and I and everyone else in this world truly are “Very Important Persons,” each with unique talents and great contributions to make.

VIP is that inner connection that hooks us up to our own deepest values and possibilities.

These are sobering times, meaningful times, often great times. When you really come to grips with your inner self, you feel as if you are on top of a mountain and the things you deal with every day are somehow smaller and more in perspective. You can see where you’re going. Maybe you can even see the path to get you there. I’ve seen this in the eyes of all students who start as a White Belt at TKC, with the dream of becoming a Black Belt. But the vision doesn’t last forever. You get caught up in the routine of daily living and find your dream slipping farther and farther away from your conscious awareness. Before long, if you don’t have some way to keep it before you, or if another perspective expanding experience doesn’t come along, the connection is broken and the vision becomes almost totally obscured. The challenge, then, of keeping that connection strong becomes the challenge of capturing the vision and keeping it before you on a regular basis. I believe the single most effective strategy to accomplish this purpose is a written creed or a personal mission statement. A mission statement contains three basic elements. The first is what you want to be – what character strength you want to have and what qualities you want to develop. The second is what you want to do – what you want to accomplish and what contributions you want to make. The third is the

values and principles upon which your life is based.

With this in mind, I encourage you to relearn the Student Creed and make an effort to use it in your daily life. I would also like to thank Thomas and Brian for being my teachers and allowing me to learn so much from their lesson.

“Life is like riding a bike. It is impossible to maintain your balance while standing still.”

Linda Brakeall

Many people have asked me how I’m able to get so many things done on a daily basis.

Community service projects, managing 2 schools (soon to open a third), a real estate company, an import/export company and most of all, husband and father.

Well, needless to say it’s not because I’m such a great person.

The secret lies in a simple formula I learned a few years back and find myself having to repeatedly remind myself of on a daily basis. And if I don’t my wife does.

But when I live this formula out, it produces fantastic results. What many folks don’t understand is that this formula will work for anybody!

That’s right!

Anyone can achieve these results in their life if they are just willing live it out!

If you can just take the time to understand and act upon this amazing little formula you will be blown away with the long-term achievement and accomplishments you will be able have in your life.

Surprisingly this is not a difficult formula. To be perfectly honest, it is rather simple.

So what is it?

The actions you take today, continued over time, will determine your lifelong accomplishments and achievements.

Do you want your life to change?

Do you want to see some big results?

Then the first thing you have to do is change your existing actions. Otherwise you will fall prey to the old adage of “doing the same thing over and over again but somehow expecting to get different results!”

If you change our actions, you will get different results!

Let’s face it, everybod y wants to accomplish great thing in their lives. But the sad truth is very few really do.

Why is this you ask?

The secret lies in what people believe they need in order to achieve their long-term accomplishments. When these beliefs are wrong or a key ingredient is missing, then they are doomed to fail. Here are some of the things that people believe will create great accomplishments for them:

Goals – If you don’t set any you don’t get any

Attitude- No question, attitude determines your altitude

Vision – If you can’t see yourself doing it… you wont

Ideas – You have to figure out how to do it

Ethics – A guiding light for how you conduct your life

Aspiration – You have to really, really want it

Th ere is no doubt that ALL these things are very important, but they are not enough all by themselves to create a reality to our goals. Yes, we need to have these attributes before we attempt to do anything, but ulti mately we need to actually take action!

Unfortunately this is where most people stop.

The cold hard facts are that you have to take action on your dreams every day to have success.

Here are some examples of how this works.

Who is the best parent? The father, who knows that spending quality time with his children can improve their chances of growing into terrific adults, or the one who actually sits down and talks with his children every night?

Which person actually loses weight? The one who reads all the books about exercise and diet, or the one who get up every morning and runs 3 miles a day?

Which person becomes successful? The one who dreams of having a millionaire lifestyle, or the one who disciplines himself invests $500 a month?

Which person writes books? The one who longs to be a famous author or the guy who makes the time and writes for half an hour e very day?

Who really makes a difference in our world? The one who talks and complains about all the things that are wrong, or the one who rolls up his sleeves and collects food to feed the poor?

By now I’m sure you get the point.

What it all boils down to, if we don’t take action on our goals, if we don’t develop a proper attitude and belief system then we won’t ever see them come to fruition.

I talk to people all the time who know what the right course of action is, but don’t ever get started on it. Imagine what a difference we could make in our own lives and the lives of others if we would simply begin to act upon on our beliefs!

As the years have passed by and I have come to realize that I have fewer days in-front of me20than I have behind. I’ve started to question if I have done all that I could to make this world a better place and to help improve the lives of those around me. In the end I want to know, with absolute certainty that I gave it all that I had.

I’m sure that you do to.

I remember talking with a school owner who had several very successful schools.

I asked him how he did it. He answered by telling me how he made it a point that he would personally be responsible for enrolling 1 new student every day. He got to his school before any of his employees and started making calls and then went out walking from store to store networking with other business owners in the neighborhood. Some days he would not get any new students and on others he would come back with so many leads that he eventually had to hire a secretary to follow-up on all his calls. His efforts produced results. 7 days a week. 30 hours a week. 365 days a year. After a while, he had 14 schools!

Some questions to ponder:

What accomplishments do you want to see come true in your life?

What immediate actions do you need to start taking now to see t hem come true?

What are you going to do right now to start seeing your dreams come true?

What are you going to do this week to see them come true?

You can have an amazing future, filled with the kind of things that most people only dream about… if you begin today to take action and make it a reality!

Come on, let’s star t today!

“Aude aliquid dignum”

To Your Success

Charles R. Chi PhD.

I can see how my mind falls into autopilot so often. It is almost like it does not want to be here right now. Even right now while I am writing this chapter, my mind wants to think about other things. I am beginning to understand that my mind only wants to save me from what is going to happen in the future based on what has happened to me in the past. It is almost like my judgmental mind works faster than my objective mind.

I don’t know why my mind assumes so much and why it categorizes everything as though I think I know it all. It reminds me of an incident that happened to me a while ago.

It was a warm summer afternoon about 2:30. I was in my office all by myself, working on my computer. My office at that time was downstairs across from the entrance to the studio. There used to be a half wall between my office and the entrance.

I remember sitting in my office this particular afternoon. The entrance door opened and I saw a woman entering the studio. I noticed the woman held the door for a second and shut it close. I assumed that she had a child with her since I could not see the other side of the half wall.

The woman started walking towards my office and yes, I was right, there was a small child following her.

I watched the woman and her child walking towards me and that was when I noticed the child was kind of strange. He bumped into the glass cabinet by the door and kept hitting the walls. “Oh, no!” I said to myself.

During the time the mother and the child got from the door to my office, I had the whole thing figured out. I knew the kid was a little brat and the mom wanted me to do miracles with him. I could picture the little wild child in the class causing problems and interrupting the class.

When they walked in the office, I was ready to wrap this one up really quick. The mom said hello politely and asked me if we teach children. I answered “Yes, of course we do. Is this your little son?” I asked while I reached over to give a high five to the little child. The mom cut me off quickly and said in a quiet voice: “Michael is blind and we were just wondering if there is any chance of him being able to take karate lessons.”

I felt like I wanted to just shrink down and disappear. I felt so ashamed

of myself for having all those negative thoughts about that little boy.

Remember this:

” When you ASS-U-MEsomething, you are making an ASS of U and ME!”

“Cherish your yesterday; dream your tomorrow; but live your today.”